function countlines($list,$ctr) {clearstatcache(); if (file_exists($list)) { $lines = file($list); while(list($key, $val) = each($lines)) { if (stristr ($val, "")) { $ctr++; } } } if ($ctr > 0) return("(".$ctr.")");} ?>
You are cool. |
the future of space exploration: Best Maid/Del Dixi
While doing some research for work, I came across this website and its stunning "Pickle Fact":
Americans consume over 29 billion pickles each year. If all those pickles were placed end-to-end they would reach the moon and back 8.25 times!What are we waiting for? Screw the space elevator! I demand we, as a nation, begin construction on our mighty lunar pickle bridges!
You are cool. |
slow on the uptake: King Features Syndicate - Popeye
74 years after first appearing in a comic strip (actually longer, as Olive predates Popeye by about ten years), the joke has hit home. Last night, I realized Olive Oyl's name is a pun: a homophone for olive oil.
Fry: Hermes is a rastafarian accountant.I find that Futurama frequently describes my mental condition; perhaps I think about cartoons too much.
Hermes: Tally me banana!
Fry: Amy is a clumsy Martian.
Professor Farnsworth: And you've got that brain thing.
Fry: I already did!
You are cool. |
try saying this one five times fast: Wrybrarian.com
Suck It Up disappeared a few months back, but the void has been filled: R. is back with a book blog, and she's brought some friends. Including me. I've just added my first (partial) book review, but go read this blog instead for R.'s delightful dread-filled anecdotes of being a high school librarian.
erik 11:35 AM | permalink | yap $commentfile = $DOCUMENT_ROOT . "/archive/comments/200322587.comment"; echo countlines("$commentfile",0); ?>
You are cool. |
like people in a revolving door, so are the days of our lives
Another double-up today, and (ooh!) a new category, designed to count the number of infuriating people who inexplicably feel the need to wait for people to stop using the door in the opposite direction before they will proceed through. It's designed to accommodate two-way traffic, people! I'm not sure if I should refer to this behavior as a "hang-up" or a "wait-around." Sheesh, this harkens all the way back to my original post on the subject, the nascent beginnings of the revolving-door counter here at HipSmart.
erik 2:30 PM | permalink | yap $commentfile = $DOCUMENT_ROOT . "/archive/comments/200318254.comment"; echo countlines("$commentfile",0); ?>
here be monsters
In the absence of sea serpents and winged beasts, the scariest denizens of the city are the rodents. The house next door is overflowing with rats (condemned, and soon to be torn down, I expect a flood of rats of biblical proportions from that house soon)--before they boarded up the windows, you could see them climbing around inside. And then there's the neighborhood possum. Twice, while stepping out my front door at night, I've seen it scurry past, going behind the bushes in front of the houses along my street. It's a monstrous thing to see a few feet away from you, larger than the neighbor's greyhound; about three feet long (plus tail), maybe 30 pounds. It has a humongous snout, dirty silver fur, and eyes the size of quarters. Last night, as Liz and I and our friend Rose sat on the front stoop talking, I wondered if it was around. I got the shivers.
Around the corner from us, at a major intersection, a new building is being put up. It has the strangest rounded back wall, and we often speculate what it will become. I walk past it every day on the way to the el, and I like to peer through the chain link fence at what's been added. Today, walking right next to the seven foot fence, I happened to glance up as I was looking in at the construction site. Perched on the top of the fence, staring straight at me from a distance of one foot, was that horrible possum. "Holy shit!" I said, and jumped away. It didn't move; it just sat there, panting. I looked back as I continued walking on, as other people walked directly under it unaware, and others, seeing it, steered so far clear as to be walking out into Western Avenue. Jeee-sus, that creeped me out.
erik 11:45 AM | permalink | yap $commentfile = $DOCUMENT_ROOT . "/archive/comments/200317328.comment"; echo countlines("$commentfile",0); ?>
You are cool. |
rip-roaring: New Black
The New Black show last Friday was awesome. Their new line-up has really gelled quickly, and I look forward to seeing them again soon. I'd post this over at music.hipsmart.com, but that site's even more forgotten than here. Highlights of the show: "Rush Hour Radio" was great, and so was the cover of "Unhappy Birthday," done with a cool, slow fierceness. Also good: all the other songs, which I don't know any of the names of.
erik 11:18 AM | permalink | yap $commentfile = $DOCUMENT_ROOT . "/archive/comments/200290337.comment"; echo countlines("$commentfile",0); ?>
motion in the corner of your eye
Did a little clean-up. Not as much as needs to be done, but checked in with the Cubs number, the revolving-door number, and some links. Also added a new tagline to the rotation at the top. In the works: complete re-working of everything.
erik 11:14 AM | permalink | yap $commentfile = $DOCUMENT_ROOT . "/archive/comments/200290319.comment"; echo countlines("$commentfile",0); ?>
You are cool. |
an email in the midst of a drought
I am boring. I have not had anything to blog about in weeks. Luckily, my lovely wife has stepped up, with the following email.
Subject: Revolving Door Double-UpDamn, she's better at keeping up with the obscure features on my blog than I am! Thanks, Liz! (I'll be back after I finish enjoying other things: X2, TiVo, The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, the iTunes Music Store, and The New Black.)
Hey Hon, Just thought you might like to count mine too. Rommel doubled up with me after lunch. It sounds so dirty, dosen't it? He wasn't feeling well all day, and just wasn't paying attention. The next thing I knew . . . we were going around "gasp" together! It is even funnier when it is someone you are friends with.